Count is currently up to 8

I don’t mean to be depressing or however you want to put it, but I have had a rather bad week. I know this shouldn’t bother me anymore, but I won’t lie…it does. Usually I can handle finding out when one of my friends are pregnant. However, in the span of a week I’ve found out about 8 pregnancies. EIGHT. Talk about a blow to the uterus. Yes, I’m happy for all of them, but this was a little much.

I start my 4th round of Clomid here in a few days. The dr upped my dose, so maybe this will help. We’ve decided on two more rounds of Clomid (including the one I’m about to start) and if those don’t work I’ll have to go to the fertility clinic downtown and begin fertility treatments via injections. Michael will have that ever so lovely job of jabbing me with needles in hope of pregnancy.

I think at this point it would be safe to buy stock in fertility meds, ovulation predictor kits, and pregnancy tests with all I’m having to go through! LOL!

Well, that’s the most exciting thing that’s going on around here lately. I’m just gonna keep truckin along and try to keep my head up. I know that everything happen for a reason, and blah blah blah….but sometimes that stuff get’s old to hear about.

Thank you for all of your prayer and support! Ya’ll are amaing, and God is even more amazing

Ah ha!

I have finally figured out how to blog from my phone!! Watch out world, I’m high tech now!

Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.

I’m Bad at Naming These Things

Greetings! Long time no blog!

So several things have been going on or are about happen!

Numero Uno: Braces are coming off on the 24th!!! I cannot wait to get these things off! So ready for crunchy, sticky, nutty foodness.

Numero Dos: We are moving in October/November. Our townhouse is still being built, but they let us choose the cabinets and counter tops, which is pretty impressive for an apartment. We will also get to paint, which thrills me to bits and pieces.

Numero Tres: Still trying for baby. Depending on how things go this week and Saturday, I may be going through round 4 of fertility treatments. Not my favorite thing, but if that’s what it takes then I’ll do it without complaint. I’ve started taking metformin (a drug for diabetes) and it’s supposed to help regulate my cycles and increase fertility. It’s going ok thus far.

So that’s about it. Nothing terribly exciting, but I’ll take what I can get.

OH! and we joined a new church on Sunday. I’m looking forward to beginning a new chapter of our lives there, but I’m kind of hesitant at the same time. This will be the first time I’ve been a member of a church where my dad isn’t on staff. I really miss hearing him preach, but he’s finally retired and he deserves a break. I know this church isn’t going to be perfect, and there will be differences of opinions and disagreements, but I’m ok with that. As long as things don’t end like they did at the last church (long terrible story that I’m not going into).

Well, off I go to my little corner of life for the moment. More blogging later, promise!

New Blog

I’ve started a separate blog about my life with PCOS.  Feel free to visit and share with others

http://owningpcos.blogspot.com/

and yes, I’ll still be on this blog

Update

Well, some things have happened since my last update.

We thought I was pregnant.  We were soo excited.  I had so many symptoms and I was very late…but all my tests came back negative.  So I went to my OBGYN, and after a few blood tests, discovered I have Polycysitc Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS).  And no, there is no cure.  This is a hereditary disease.

This pretty much means that I have cysts on my ovaries, along with ALL of my hormones being messed up, it’s why I’ve been gaining weight and am having a VERY hard time losing it, it causes my acne, and also messes with my insulin tolerance.

My amazing doctor has put me on Provera to start my cycle and then I’ll begin the Clomid (fertility pills).  Hopefully it will only take the first cycle of Clomid for me to get pregnant, but we’ll see.  There is just so much involved in trying to get pregnant.

I finished my last dose of Provera yesterday, and the side effects are terrible.  The fatigue, mood swings, and cramps are awful, but it’s just something I have to deal with.

I never in my wildest dreams thought I would have to take fertility meds.  I always thought when I was ready to have a baby it would happen.  Some days I’m ok with my diagnosis, and other days I’m heartbroken and upset.  My husband has been incredibly supportive, and I couldn’t go through this without him.

I’ll have more updates later.  If you have any questions or suggestions, they are welcome.  Keep me in your prayers!

Blah Blah Blah

No news yet.  Been feeling a little crampy, but that could be pms (which it’s a little early for) or something else.  We’ll find out soon enough.

Pretty excited about Saturday, though!  We are going to join the ranks of real people…for the first time in our marriage…we are getting CABLE!!!!  WOO HOO!!!  We are going to have more that 3 channels finally!  I can’t wait!!!!

I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned or not, but I’m going off of my OCD meds since I’m trying to get pregnant.  The first two weeks were literally hell.  It’s been years since I have been that depressed, and even at that, that may have been the most depressed I’ve ever been.  But after that initial step down, the rest have been MUCH easier, and I’m feeling a lot better.  I’m starting to feel like the old me before the meds, and I’ve missed that me.  lol.  3 more weeks, and I’ll  be med free…I can’t wait!  Not being so foggy has really upped my creativity and rekindled some of my old flames…like blogging, lol.

Now off to bed so I can rest and get ready for another day in death at work tomorrow, lol.

Some Exciting News

Ok, now that I know that I have at least 3 readers, I’ll go ahead and start up this blog again…and I’ll start it with something exciting!

We are trying to get pregnant!

We aren’t pregnant yet, but we are on purpose trying  We are completely thrilled and excited.  Please be in prayer for us in this new adventure in our life.  We only want this if God wants this, so if it doesn’t happen, we know God has bigger and better plans, and it may simply not be our time yet.

Other than that great news, I don’t have much else.  I’ll try to update on more things along with our journey in potential parenthood

Here We Go Again

Since I’m embarking on a lot of new things this year, I just wanted to see if anyone still reads this.  So comment if you do maybe? lol

Odd

So ever since I’ve started my allergy shots and meds I have been a completely different person!!!  I’m happier, friendlier, nicer, and more social!  I feel so much more like myself that I have in YEARS!  God is amazing!

Not Enough

I don’t think I’ll ever be able to be enough.  I want to be perfect at everything, and I’m never going to be.  This is quite discouraging.  I want to be able to be everything to everyone, and I know I’m not Jesus, but sometimes that just doesn’t help.

I wish I could be the perfect wife, the perfect daughter, the perfect friend…well, you get the idea.  But I just feel like I fail at all of them.  I have a hard time staying on top of the laundry and dishes, not to mention picking up around the house.  I’m not supposed to vacuum or dust, but it’s gotta get done.  There isn’t enough of me to go around.  Especially when i get home from work.  By that time I’m already wiped out and it’s all i can do to get dinner cooked.

I wish I could provide for my parents like they’ve done for me.  I want to be able to provide for them so my mom can retire and spend time with my dad, and they wouldn’t have to worry about anything financially.  But I’m having a hard enough time providing for my husband and me as it is.  I wish i could help heal my parents ailments, but I can’t.

I wish I could be a better friend and spend more time with what few i have left.  It’s so hard to plan things or do things since we only have one car and I want to make sure Michael has access to it at all times in case he needs to go to Murfreesboro immediately for school or work things.  I rarely get to see any of my friends outside of work, and if I don’t work with them, it’s even rarer for me to see them.

I just feel like my all isn’t good enough…or my anything isn’t good enough for that matter.

Yes, this is a rather depressing and unamusing post, but I don’t really care.  Life isn’t all roses and champagne.  Unfortunately it rarely is.  When I was a child, being an adult seemed glorious and exciting.  Boy was I wrong.  i’m just having trouble seeing the point in many things.  I feel like I don’t have much of a point with work…I go, do what I’m told, make people mad, make a few happy, and that’s it.  there’s no point other than to earn a paycheck…and the only point of the paycheck is to pay other people…bills, loans, food, etc.

I think I’m missing something, but I’m not sure what it is exactly.  Maybe it’s not meant for me to know.  Maybe this is just some cruel joke.  i don’t know, but I do feel a tad better getting this out somewhere…even if it is in the middle of cyber space.