Why Can’t I Just be Normal? October 5, 2009

I really hate how I go through bouts of depression.  I know a lot of it stems from my extremely high anxiety and my OCD, but it still gets annoying.  I’m on medication that helps with the anxiety, but I’m starting to think it’s time for a switch.

My general practitioner says that I need to go to counseling rather than us trying a different med, but I don’ t think that’s the route I need to go.  I’ve been in counseling before (that’s when I was first diagnosed with OCD and PTSD) and I know when I need counseling.  This isn’t an emotional issue.  If we could just bring the anxiety level down a few notches I’d be fine and peachy.  My doctor just doesn’t understand that.

I’ve been on Zoloft for almost 6 years, and I’ve been at 200mg per day for about 2 1/2 years now.  I can’t go any higher on the Zoloft dosage.  I’ve even gotten to the point where when I had to skip some doses due to not being able to get my refill for a few days, that I went into withdrawal…nausea, shakes, sweats, the whole thing.

I’m not sure why I’m putting this out for the whole world to read…maybe someone else is going through the same thing…but it would be nice to not feel like I’m in the bottom of a deep well with no way out.

i’m an adult October 1, 2009

So Michael and I were sitting in the living room watching tv and we hear something that sounds like people on the roof…we don’t have upstairs neighbors…there’s no upstairs.

So I make michael go outside and look and he said that there were kids on the other side of the building and they were throwing a football on to the roof.  Well I’m mad at this point because i don’t want anyone messing with the roof since they just fixed it (it had been leaking DOWN the wall…we live on the end), and we’ve been having problems with the neighbor kids throwing balls against our outside bedroom wall.

So i go storming out and the football comes flying over the roof and lands pretty much at my feet.  Well I knew the kids were going to have to come after it so I stand there with the ball at my feet and my hands on my hips.  the poor kid that came over to get the ball had to endure my questioning of what they were doing and why (which it turns out that they had an airplane stuck on the roof and were trying to get it off with the football since their parents only told them not to climb onto the roof).

Poor kid was scared out of his wits and was stumbling over his words calling me ma’am and everything.  i told him to ask his parents to either help them get the plane off the roof or get them to call the apartment complex and see if they could get it off.  Bless his little heart.  He was almost as tall as me and couldn’t have been but about 8.

who would have thought i would be that intimidating?!  i’ve grown up!!!

Favorites September 27, 2009

I love coffee.  Love is an understatement….If coffee were a person and I could marry it, the hubs would be outta luck.  I love the taste, I love how you can put different things in it, I love how I can make it and not screw it up!

I’ll admit that I’m rather infatuated with Starbucks.  I’ve finally gotten to the point where I can take it or leave it except for one thing.  Pumpkin Spice Lattes.  They are my favorite thing they make and I could probably live off of them.  If they had them year round I would be in some serious trouble.  They make all things better

Ok, well I just wanted everyone to know that.  That’s my good deed for the day

Waterless September 25, 2009

So today was really not something to be excited about.  Missed the train, only have one car so we decided it was more important for the husband to get to school, and our water was off…for over 5 hours.  Thank Jesus for the face that I have annual leave and was able to stay home.  I really would have hated to have shown up to work all gross.

So pretty much today was rather unproductive, especially considering that I couldn’t do dishes or wash clothed due to the no water thing.

Now I’m waiting on the hubs to get home from school. I’m bored.  I’ve been playing an unhelathy amount of sorority life on facebook and my eyes hurt now.

Here’s to a better day tomorrow!

Let’s Try This Again September 21, 2009

Ok, I’m going to try this blog thingy again

I’m getting the itchy fingers to write again, and this makes me very happy!  It’s not like it’s hard to sit down and write, but I think I’ve been going through a VERY long period of Writer’s Block.

So all last week and this weekend it has rained like the bottom fell out and will never stop.  I don’t necessarily mind all the rain…it gives me an excuse for bad hair and shoes that don’t necessarily look so hot with my outfit.  I’m really excited when it storms at night though!  It gives me an excellent excuse to cuddle up to the husband and be held extra tight   That always makes me happy!

So I finally got around to cleaning today, and I got our bedroom dusted, vacuumed, everything!  But there was a small little incident where this huge spider with 15 razor sharp fangs and 83 eyes tried to murder me…but luckily husband came to the rescue with shoe in hand and saved my life.  It was looking perilous there for a bit.

Well, I’m going to go and attempt to get the husband to stop eating his weight in Doritos, lol.

Hopefully I’ll do this again very soon!

Another Entry January 24, 2009

Ok, well last night I was ALL excited…for about 5 minutes. I still have this dreadful cold, but I decided to work out anyways. So i got on the treadmill and did my little warm up, and then I decided I’ll run a minute and walk 2 minutes. I actually RAN for one whole minute and I was ELATED!!! and I kept up that little pattern for a bit, but then I quickly got VERY winded, and it didn’t help that my nose was stufy and I couldn’t breathe out of it. I got VERY disappointed in myself that I couldn’t keep it up after about 10 minutes. But I’m going to blame that on being sick…that and when I woke up this morning i’m even sicker than I was yesterday. I’m going to assume that means that when you are sick you should probably stay OFF the treadmill.

But the moral of this story is, I actually RAN.

If you ask the little kids at church, they will tell you “Miss Dana doesn’t run!” and they know it’s true!

YAY! January 21, 2009

I got new running shoes today! Since we got the treadmill my goal is to become a runner. I’ve been avidly reading runnersworld.com and setting up workout routines. I wish I could have gotten on the treadmill tonight, but I think I’m getting another fabulous cold.

I Swear I Didn’t Lie! January 20, 2009

Ok, i know that one of my resolutions was to update this thing everyday, but lif happens and sometimes this isn’t a priority.

Michael and I got a new treadmill yesterday!  I’ve started my workouts today and my goal is to work out no less than 3 times a week if not more.  I love it and it’s excellent.  Plus I have no more excuses to not exercise.  Yay for being healthy and potentially losing weight!!!

Dad is doing better.  He is going in at 6am tomorrow for more heart tests, so please keep him in your prayers.  And please keep Michael in your prayers too as he goes through this semester.  This is a difficult one for him, and I hate it when he gets discouraged.

Some Things Just Don’t Make Sense January 16, 2009

So we found out yesterday that my dad had a heart attack.  He’s home and feeling well, but we don’t really have any details.  He goes for more tests on Tuesday.  Please pray for him and my family.  We are still in complete and utter shock.

Other than that, not much is going on.  We got a new State Treasurer, and we aren’t happy about that.  When the Treasurer is your big boss, things get a little scary when you geta new one.  But that’s a whole nother long story.

Resolutions January 15, 2009

I hate ney year resolutions.  For some reason i think they are hokey and kinda dumb.  But I’m thinking about reconsidering that this year.  So far i’ve decided on 2 resolutions.

1.) To write in this thing every day…even if it’s just a brief sentence.  i miss writing.  I miss that being a part of my life like it used to be.  Plus it will be interesting to look back at the end of the year.

2.) Exercise. I know everyone makes this one, and if you know me, i hate being part of the masses, but this is something that i need to do for me.  I need to be healthier and I want this.  The problem I have now is finding a treadmill we can afford.  This is tougher than it seems.

Ok, enough of that.

Now on to supper.  Hopefully i’ll be back again tomorrow on this thing, but we shall see.